She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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