If that was your dad, he is hot
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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