Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My feet surprised me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
