I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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