i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
