My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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