Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't think brook has ever known best
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
