I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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