What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
