Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
