I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Less talking, more tequila
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
