Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
