I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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