but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
