you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
