I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
