You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
