Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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