Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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