she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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