just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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