Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
