so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
