glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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