I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
