Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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