he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
