Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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