hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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