last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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