Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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