so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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