Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
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sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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