idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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