I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
