You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
