i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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