We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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