dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
