She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
