At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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