so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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