She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
