Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
