You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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