Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How naked do you want me to be?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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