How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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