That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
