I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
