There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My balls are so social today.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
