He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize