fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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