its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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