call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
tell me about the fingering
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