Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
