Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
