It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
