woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
