Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
