chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
