Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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