every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
