and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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