So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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