I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
